This post, i will list out some of my favourites, top few people or objects. First, for history, that must include politics. My favourite modern leader is Adolf Hitler, not about what he did , but what he was. An artist i should say, with great emotions. Great representative of the artists for a political leader. Well, during song dynasty , there is an emperor who was so great, he can be listed as top in his poems etc, but well he is simply a bad emperor. So, as long as it met my criteria, it is fine , even it is Hitler. Then, my favourite army commander shall be Sun zi. Of course, he is the author of the Art of War(Sun Zi Bing Fa). Warring state era did produce many great men, he is just one of the many. Okay, now it shall be arts' turn. My favourite artist, including musician etc. Well, i give credit to alot of people here. Beethoven, Chopin for the western classics, too bad chinese did not invent something like chords to pass down by records. Hence, many were lost through thousands of years. I like the true and pure kind of R&B by the blacks. Those are emotional and sexy, mind soothing. In term of visual arts, i simply do not like anyone or know enough. Now, for philosophers, well, i should say homer can be one of my favourites actually, his words gave me some inspirations. Confucius, i should say i would not put him in my favourites though, i like some other "guy", maybe one of his disciple. Meng zi, similar teachings but not exactly the same. Well, again, in fact, Buddhism can be my favourite finally, if u recognise it as a philosophy. So.....for the paranormal.....it is something new, i cannot find anyone fascinating enough for me to call him a master....so.....i leave it blank. For Basketball player, I would give credit again....too many players....good players but are role players. Shane Battier, Brent Barry, and people like Mumtombo, so loving and caring. Well, lets see, there are plenty of favourites left. My favourite actor shall be Will smith.....in fact, Jim Carey can be the second one. For chinese, i guess i have to put my number 1 on Jet Li, he is a philathropist now........Always doing his best. Sorry I do not have any actress to name. Asking bout movies or those, thats too many, but i should say i do like epic, war, emotional ones. Here, i will give one person a few favourite actually. Tang Bo Hu, a poor guy, poor life, lost almost everything, screwed up imperial exams. Jailed. Died early. Poet, artist, also a philosopher. In fact, very great to me. Although people might ask why he did not keep trying, and left himself to rot after a series of misfortunes. Well, i would say, he might be able to pull himself back but.....who knows what does those experiences felt like? lost your wife, lost your parents? jailed? The era he live in is also a distractive age. I know these can be excuses. But that is just what had already happened. Well, now. Recently i knew about mimosa, the plant that might help my skin and the sparrow which flew into my paternal grandfather's house before i was born. That sparrow made a nest on the balcony, those relatives said it must be a boy. Well, mimosa......little sparrow. In fact, both are little and .......very similar. Similar to one another and also to me. I will let them be my avatar then. Small but survived........the sparrow... that is what a friend said to me. Closed when touched......the mimosa....that is what i said.... Those are just what Zackwise is about. That is me...... That is my philosophy

Conquer. Conquer...... 征服........征......服..... Expedition. Submission...........Expedition....for others' submission. That is what conquer mean in chinese(Hanyu). Alexander the Great went on an expedition to conquer everything he saw.......an expedtition that almost never ended.......An expedition to something that he was unsure of. Going all the way.......What is he searching for?.... Everlasting peace for macedon? Everlasting peace in his mind? or is it just a wild move. Head into a tunnel......so deep......all the way..........away from home..... Away from everything that recognise him. Something that is mend to be .....does not seem to be happening...Something that could happen, did not happen...... Having all the pieces.....but the puzzle is incomplete...... because of the unwillingness to put in the last piece......It is the only thing that separates victory from me. Know it. But never do it. I will conquer. Expedition starts. Where is the motivation? It actually lie within me. The blood. The talent. The character. Life in this world is a journey. Point in life is to find your point in "no point". I came and i will go. I will not live forever but i will be gone forever. If I dont prove What I am, I am as well never lived. Unleash the one, and i will be done. My life will be done.....That is my philosophy

Well.....well....well. This is more than a year ago. I guess I was at a old Commando Barrack. Today i want to talk about something which i do not know whether i had talked before. Alright, the photo already gave you some clue about my topic today, because i felt i would like to make things clear and record my ideas down, i have recorded alot but not this one yet i guess. I was reading the SPI book at the end of my secondary school days......during winter......at the end of 2006 to early 2007. The book inspired me to find out more......in fact, i have been interested in such topics always......since a real kid. So this book is something like a stimulator. I return to Singapore for my Poly studies soon enough and i went for SPI and API tours.......trying to find out and learn more. I came across the group of people such as Weixue, terribly disgusting person , true walking disaster of the planet, but that is not my point today. Today, I will talk on my paranormal philosophy, my idea. After some time wandering about the organisations, seeing API, SPI, Supernatural. It came to a stop where i rest myself for a year. I got to rest before more bad things happen with that numbskull. I was with the API for some short time, the media team led by Hao Song, but well i was fired soon enough as I was absent for 2 or 3 meetings, so.......the reason was lack in commitment. Okay, also here to correct myself of what i thought last time about API affliated with the PSS. Simply weixue the fool created PSS and he thought he affliated with them. PSS was spamed with pornographic advertisements, tons of them at the end after i left the forum and left it to rot. Weixue close it few months ago. Well, those were all 1 year ago. I went to visit and play around on Chinese paranormal forums in china though, and was utterly shocked at first. The paranormal ideas and knowledges are still living in the old dynasties there and I could not help. That problem does not lie in paranormal field only, it is the problem of the society of the nation so I drifted away after some months of observation and "preachings". Well, i am not saying they are totally helpless but again like i said, it is the society, and not everyone is dumb, there are people who still understands but very little. In fact, maybe i was too confident of Singaporeans. Afterall, I noticed the problems does not lie in China only, it is everywhere. Newbies, superstitions and pure stupidity of paranormal industry simply can be found anywhere. Well, I went to talked to US investigators on the net too and learnt some of their ideas and directions they are going. Finally, the SGFX, freakylinks leader found me from a old paranormal blog by weixue. I was recruited like i mentioned few posts away. Well, basically this is what had happened so far. My paranormal idea is based on modern science. Science have to be the base of the paranormal investigations. Religious and modern superstitions can only be auxiliary forces to assist you. Not speaking of those issues people normally bring out.....saying science cannot explain this and that or certain paranormal activities are just imaginations or illness or what. I am here to say that they are neither right. The timeline is still on the move, it is not the end of the world, there is no answers yet. We can keep on finding, discovering, debunking but it is really unneccessary to debate on some matters. In fact most questions in paranormal field cannot be truly answered. Many so called answers are all assumptions of some clues, some research backups or.....maybe no clue at all. I believe the nature. Our mother nature, our mind, our brain, ourselves, our surroundings have too many mysteries, and those can be the contributing factors, the unknown factors that are affecting our paranormal world. Like i said, our mind is very powerful and we humans are too confident in our senses. I know people are impatient, wanting answers right now, but all we can do is wait and see, we cannot give conclusions. Those simple cases can be solved, but some basic questions......we just cannot. Well, I see paranormal as something very important to us. The topic can be a study of everything mankind have so far. It can be a study of combining every knowledge human have so far since the cradle of civilisations. It requires basically few areas, humanities, sciences and some "actions". When you research into paranormal cases, you found yourself wandering into the worlds of history, geography, philosophy, religion, literature, archaeology......u name it. And on the scientific side, you have to enter the halls of mathematics, biology, physics, psychology and again, u name it. Whatever human have now is what is needed in paranormal study. So you see, what is paranormal? Paranormal....is a study of the hidden side of nature. Ah.....and of course ourselves....we are part of nature. I spoke of "actions" previously, that "actions" is the skill during the investigations......well, you might just start to behave like a detective or simply is one. So......you should know it is impossible to know everything in order to be ready for paranormal. Therefore, detectives consult other professionals..... If one day, someone said paranormal means ghost hunting only, playing with some tricks or he or she is a master of the Paranormal. He or she lied. The ghost part i guess i would not need to explain anymore, you should have understood if u accepted the idea stated all along in this post. The master of the Paranormal part...... well....He or she can be a master in one field or knew things in many fields, but he or she would not be a master in this overall structure. There might be some experts who are the closest to a true master compared to the rest but...........still, treat the person who said he or she is a master as a lie, because you would not be able to meet the true one. And that, is an assumption, well u know........because certain possibilities are so low.....they are close to zero. At last.......i would finally say.....go with the nature.......let things flow naturally.......because that is the natural way. That is my philosophy

It is 2:14am now as i type this line, 1 hour and 3 mins to my actual birth time on 23rd, my birth date. What does it mean by being 18. More laws to handcuff you of course. I am sure that i enjoy being 17 instead. I am not a law breaker unless the law is not what it suppose to be. Okay, frankly, being 16 is a what the hell to me already, i did not expect me to be that old yet, now 18? This is crazy , i thought i am 8. If i were 8, then the adults must be really scared. I am refering to my mind. Well, besides talking about being 18, what else can i say now.......wait for the actual time? Well, so far, i believe i am still what i am at 5. The good natured boy of justice is still here, I am the one who has not yet change, most have, or should i say almost all have. Sometimes maybe u would wonder how long is a decade, well, i see thats quite long, but not that long exactly, so i know i am talking rubbish here. I am as well as saying nothing. As i said, time stops when u do nothing, time moves on when u start doing something, well now i add on and say time moves double time when u start doing something with joy, maybe with someone. Because alone in the dark will make time feel like a long long way.....it is like taking forever....although it never lasted that long. It is in the mind.....again i said....it is in the mind......Your mind is powerful, beware. What is the most tragedic thing to be happening? Oh , well, for now i will say, i am 18 by life age, 16 by look, and who knows what age i am in my mind. Well, the maturity might not be 30 or what.....but i am sure i knew somethings my age dont, well, i should not use age to classify people, because i find that some young people too have great mind and knowledge, its about the person him or herself , not the age.......like some guy can be 30 plus but he is not as matured as me, not knowing as much as me, well i would not disclose who that is, just an example. While some men are great people of their time or at least, an acceptable 30 yr old human to this current society. So, i guess i should not use age as the factor in the classification, i should make a standard instead. The amount of things should be shown at certain age. So, again, that is very subjective. But according to confusius, there is a chart.......it is in his book, there are chapters which talk about when are u be able to be living with no doubt.........when are u actually suppose to be supporting yourself. So, there is a classification, by Confusius. Mine might be similar of course. But since it is a different world now, my version would confirm be different from his. Well, most importantly, i am a different person, different as in............u find sheeps on the streets, copies of others, i am just standing by myself........That is my philosophy

Movie picture from "My Boy Jack". First world war scene, a prestigious british doctor sent his son to war, his son volunteered, well u know, he died. He was rejected many times by the navy because of extremely bad myopia. But his father got him into the Army finally, he became a 2nd lieutenant and did well, both the training and the battefield until he is shot down by machine guns. 1 man is left to tell the tale, he was hidding just below Jack, in a trench. Simple, clear cut, actor as u can see, the "harry porter" boy. Dramatic look, orange sky.......dust.....That is what i saw this dawn, today. Unfortunately.......unfortunately i did not carry a camera with me to take the scenery down......all i can describe.....it is ....soft orange....yellow......transparency...overlapping the baby blue sky.....covering the light grey clouds......uniting.......reflecting the colours.....which bonded into one another, giving the obvious yellow but also blue......and the hidden green meaning behind everything. I came back from Ang Mo Kio today, i found the chinese medicine clinic, had acupuncture done on my right wrist and given medicines, just 20 dollars. Unexpectedly cheap to me , maybe it is the first time i seen a chinese physician in Singapore. Had a meal at the hawker centre beside and walked back to Ang Mo Kio MRT station......where i saw the light of the dawn......giving its everlasting impression. I wonder will anyone there find it beautiful......Today, is saturday, and looks like alot....or many....or most......maybe almost everyone has gone out or something....I am staying home of course. I would not play the ball games tomorrow, i guess i would be obedient and rest. Lying there while the needles are on me, is quite of a comfortable experience, the femal doctor is friendly, gave me tips on my skin also.......she recommended Mimosa. The plant which will "closes" itself when touched. Pull it from the soil with its roots on, boil it for 45 minutes and bath the infected parts with it. Sounds cool. I would look forward in finding mimosa plants now. Do not think its that easy. I might just be plucking them from the roadside or buying and growing them maybe........Well, i will go for another meal later at night. I will sleep early today i guess. Looks like i will be away from physical training. And looks like my ligament is very vulnerable. Ah...........my allergic body too......it is a gene defection....Born to be loser. As I said again......nature gave you one part of a perfection, it would not give u the other part. That is my philosophy

This is Rappeport, i think i spelled it correctly. He is acting as Don self in Prison Break season 4. And you know, he is a New York Knicks fan, this is him recently in Madison Square Garden arena. Recently, i have wrist pain, due to dumbbell maybe, and ball sessions. So......it is deteriorating, and i am going to see a chinese doctor tomorrow, maybe in the ang mo kio area. I have to get it done, have to.........Well, another than this issue, i bet nothing more is going wrong actually. This semester is the strangest one, i do not actually feel that i am doing much. Maybe theres more lectures and less of those packaging design or logotypes stuff. I watched documentary from the 1934. Hitler and the german people, rallies, meetings..........great leader.....great passion.....great speech......He is a representative of the artists, for a political leader. Alright....time...for rest.....I should get back to my sleep.........May my blanket capture me as prisoner. I, lay in silence, but loneliness.......is not in my head but i know, i am not spending time wise enough because i felt ..................That is my philosophy

Around 2-3weeks ago, i did this test. As you can see, it was to.....make 2 glasses filled with 10 litres each, i misunderstood the question as needing 2 glasses to have 10 litres in total but actually just 1 step short, so it is completed. In 10 minutes, i never finish such quiz or test before, maybe i have not done any but this time i suddenly amazed myself and thought "hey, i can actually do this kind of thing, this maths, logic kind of quiz", not to show how smart i am, just surprised that i can complete this in 10 minutes. Tomorrow......it's friday.......again.....just like any other week........another friday......another number 5.........another day before the weekends.......another weekly balling session. Not much to talk about........well last week i got to know the basketball term "triple threat" better. TRIPLE THREAT. there isnt another threat, there isnt a bigger threat. That is my advertisement lines for triple threat. Haha, simply in a stance, where you can pass, shoot, or drive. So, it is 3 threats to your defender. For a person who can do all 3 very well, there will be no other threat that can be more threathening than triple threat because you got to guard the player if he passes, or he start driving to the basket, or just shoot over you. The footwork, fundamentals and body language here plays a big role, in fact this is what fundamental basketball is all about if you do not talk about the teamwork, offensive and defensive plays yet. We will continue to work on the "Pick and Roll" and " option" offensive plays. Again, very basic, down to earth and have to do it because again, this is what basketball is about. It is about organising plays to maximise the possibility of open or easy shots, which you can see, you dont really see that in Singapore. Even Slingers are playing the "1 on 1" game, everyone just take turns to 1 on 1, take tough shots, get themselves trapped or double teamed easily because of bad movement, bad strategy and all those basic plays from the US colleges or the NBA, you just would never see them here, mysteriously, i do not know what these coaches are doing. That is why i called Singapore a third world basketball country. Finding people to play basketball is already limited, finding people to have good skills is even more limited and........finding people to play real, true and right basketball, I can tell u, try finding till your next life. Nothing offensive, but this is the truth, because again, Mr Soon tats fah, a design lecturer of my school, said that people always see the 1/3 of the iceberg which is above the water, there is 2/3 below the water which people did not see. Same thing goes here and everywhere else, they see a nice move by some well-known player, they just do it which they had no idea why, or the underlying factors that determined that this move is correctly executed. People just saw the iceberg above the water and copy what is there which is......what people think it is all about. That is why, you can actually get slapped directly, full palm on the face in a basketball game in singapore. Well, not once, but all the time. Stupid executions. Too bad, as I said earlier, in every field, people see 1/3 of the iceberg mostly. I mean things like this alot of times does not need to be a professional to know it. The rules are all wrong, or all kind of funny rules evolved. Well, not going to continue talking about this, I would end here. The final destination might not be an end, the path might just go round and round........yea....round and round. The same thing will happen again tomorrow but I can tell you, that is not deja vu, buddy. That is my philosophy

Around these 2 weeks. I had dreams....and i hardly had any during my non-holiday sleeps well you know I dream every night during holiday. So......what i saw.......monsters.......female monsters......funny crap......and one which is worth to talk about. I picked up a cello and in the dream i somehow wish to carry on the fallen destiny of my father........the cello........what a talent.....what a player......yet......everything goes to waste just because of wrong decisions made. Well other than that. I remember Kurt used to play ball with me on saturday morning for the past 2 years. I have been playing Yahoo Basketball fantasy game on Kurt's league and I just topped it this week and this week, it is between me and kurt....head to head. Another night........another sleep.......another time of music-ing. Music kept me emotionally satisfied. "I'm on the battlefield......i will play this game......no matter what.. Victory or defeat.......is not what i wanna see......What i wanna see.....is the truth in this place.......And this place is in my heart. I want to know myself. Then at least one day i can say that......i understand my world.......the world where i lay in peace. That is my philosophy.

Well.....well.....well.......Looks like we have lost Pram to the "fun ball" concept. Fine, I will have Felix and Sherman to play with then. This coming friday will be at the active court at street 22 again.........SGFX will be hosting something this coming saturday, i guess i have to go, no matter what. The celebration of the birthday of 3-4 people i guess.......including me. Nothing will stand in my way hopefully.........Angela is offline for 2 days, my guess is that she went to some auntie's house or getting her medicine from the capital Amman. Tomorrow will be another project studio for my product.....portable vacuum cleaner.....of Adidas.......Lecturer loved to say things looks obscene to them. I am taking my "calm down" pills everynight......yes....everynight....else...sleeping is a problem.....itch is a problem.......it spoils many things.......can be almost everything.....My wounds this time is concealed within the covered areas.......but pretty bad looking......the wound....the .......pain.....when perspiration comes when i almost got home.......when i shower myself.......i breath hard like a injured lone wolf.
You know what......I found the hidden reason behind the obvious question. Why did i not work hard. Why did i not start working and always slacking, always resting...........but i am still tired. The final answer is fear, it is uncertainty, it is lonliness, I am immune to the loneliness part.....but......i knew it is always there, i am used to it, but..........it is there. "At least i still exist" kind of life is not something new. But i want to thank my current classmates for not ill-treating me. It is a gift already. I got to rest now, there is a day to go tomorrow, also to ask the bloody CPF people about god damn school fees. To be able to foresee or not, it usually ends the same. That is my philosophy

This time, I am recruited by SGFX. I would not say what it stands for unless u ask me. My first exploration will be tomorrow. I was actually on second command for investigation soon after i met up with the "freaks". I did some map research around the area i am going yesterday, and actually found that Singapore is a big garden. I did not think so until now. I thought it is just trees but i think many places are only linked by main roads, not so many ways into or out of certain places, which make it interesting. So, there are actually "cities" in Singapore. So i am getting out of my region. Another thing i would like to say is my new and loving friend Angela. She contacted me from my contacts from some chinese forum. She is from the same city, same birthday, just a year older. Although she is in Jordan now, but i am investing in this "bank". Ben said why not invest in local "banks", well simply i am not welcomed in local "banks". "They don't want my money boy". I know i certainly like her, and yes, alot. The hope to see her is something cannot be forseen. I know this is crazy, this has no logic but, i just want to "lock" her up first, i might have a chance in the future. She is moving back in 2 years time, by then i will be in the army, and she will continue her studies while after my army, my university time comes. We always had great chats online, and also on the phones. I hope this really continues and soon even better things will happen. There is a connection.......though it is thin and very isolated. I will hold on to it, this is my hope, my dream, my goal. My dream was....actually to have a dream.....my goal was to have a true goal. This can be one. This is the one. I am the most rational artist, i know i am doing something irrational but this can be the motor to power myself to work towards something in my life, just like I said.......a person should do whatever possible to fulfill his or her dream until destiny reveals itself. That is my philosophy

Einstein mentioned about 99 percent hardwork and 1 percent talent. Actually the 1 percent is the most important. He just did not want to discourage anyone. Those people who has the hardwork won't overtake the ones with talent(provided they strive). Use what u have, that will be the way, so far, i haven't use anything i have, yet i have so many. I dont know when i am going to strive or be working on something that i am made for. What is known is already known for the future , i dont have to think anymore. I am just a incredible hawk which have not yet experienced any flying. Many felt bored about their destiny, some might think they have no talents and that is wrong, they said that because they are not using their talent. The reason might be the unawareness of their natural abilities. Well, Kobe Bryant also said that he hates people who are born to play basketball. He likes those who love basketball. That is an encouragement, similar to Einstein's. Same thing, those who are built for the kill, when strived, will dominate the ones who arent built for what they are doing. So, i can say that the world is also about trying......trying to do. What is within u , gifted, are already done. What you can do is to use whatever u have, and that is to try. A great man of a piece of history is talented and hardworking, but most of the time he is not the one who is given the best and most talents, neither is he given the most determination of hardwork. He is ......moderate.....a balance. If a genius strives, he will be a saint. If a moderate talented man who has hardwork, he will be a or the great one of his history. If an ungifted man stives, he might just be able to be right beside the great man......or even the saint. Focus. Once you run the play, you won't get to stop. There is no room for saving your game. It is a one way highway. ........."Going my way"?......it's gonna be a long..... way ladies and gentlemen. That is my philosophy

Since when......I lost my feeling of blogging......, I remember blogging the basketball practice everyday when I just started to play. 2008 might be the year with the least posting since I started blogging.......for 2......3 years. I would not just stop here, there is a long way to go for this blog. Talking about 2008, big year. Simply big, why? just feel it,........big enough?........the year with 911 might be big too but this 2008, there is more things to see. Disasters are running across the globe, more and more warnings on.......our home......is counting down. Other than the disasters......Earthquakes.......snow.......floods.......you name it......there is Olympic games.....summer games in Beijing, China. This time, it looks more like an advertisement to the world.......showing that China can host such events, and also, to tell those who think China is still in its 1950s looks, .......pal.....this is China. While lots of foreigners are impressed, in fact i am not, so is a friend from China. It is just about the numbers in the opening ceremony.......chinese culture........huge numbers of people......great, explosive fireworks......Forget about the Games, my second cousin was a Olympic volunteer at that period of time in Beijing. My trip to Suzhou and Nanjing was alright .......yes.......as always......alright.........autumn is quite......comfortable.......my favourite season indeed. Returnin back to Singapore, not much difference but I am actually on my self. Looks like my grandmother would not make it through the winter........at most 2009.......which many think it is not even possible. The sudden change in her body status lasted for 10 days, thin and weak.......now. 1928 till now, maybe it has been enough already. 10 years of life, after 2 strokes, not mentioning breaking both her legs.....and her arm. In China, Nanjing, seeing my relatives, father. This time a little different. I had more free time by myself.....making decisions. I spent time with my cousins and a friend alone, this and that. Regretted that i did not agree on the taking photos with her thing. The friend wanted to take a kind of picture, those tiny little ones which i forgot the name........ah neoprints........unfortunately, its crowded everywhere, not that crowded at the shop......but i was just impatient to do that......so....i said lets go....sometimes.....things like this left in my mind......somehow.....memories of war will be left in some soldier's mind. I am that kind. I could have had some patient and go for it, she said there isn't any photos of me and her.......well......this chance past.....who knows when is the next. Somethings you just have to do it today, do it now, if you wait for tomorrow or next time, things will change......more than half the chance....you would not have that opportunity anymore. I am suddenly left on my own, mentally first, emotionally.....and physically.......This semester in school, I know i have to change. big change. The bird which never chirp needs to start its great plan. I have to proof myself, i could not just let myself be the average or worse person. Difficult tasks, yes, I will need to put in action. No more running away, no more disorganisation, no more short-cuts. "I gotta strive". That is it. The difference between a person up there and down here is one has a great ambition, the other don't. Looking at those people around me at the food court. Working people, many of them too have the talents and potentials. I too have lots of talents, but i am satisfied easily and i have no ambition. no idea on what i am going to accomplish. I am being passive at an very early age.......negative........I guess i have to save that when i am old enough to die. No way being so at this age, it is old-age in advance. Well, basically I found that the first stage of my philosophy is to understand, the second is to execute it. Do what you already knew. A plan is not even half from succeeding till it is being executed. That is my philosophy

Downed? Ready to go....Dead? Spirit don't....Clutch? Upon your foe....I played my ball games with Felix, Ernest and Pram this morning. The last one before I fly to Nanjing. Out of stamina, burning on nothing but soul, and I play better when that happens. Just like an exhausted beast is going for the final move. I suffered cramps from my left ankle and quadricep. Actually more would have happen but I controlled my moves. 1st is after the morning games and I release the ankle cramp on purpose when I did my foot rotation exercise. The 2nd one is during afternoon games , intercepted a pass and the cramp came as soon as I landed on the ground. I ask to continue the game after few minutes. Have to get recover soon because I cannot really walk with ease now. I bet the training at home did have some effect on the muscles and I did not wait till they recover before my ball games. My lower body just felt exhausted with muscle problems here and there, I felt sleepy because I did not take lunch before the afternoon games. I ate some of the steak at home and rest............Yesterday I took a look at my blog, the last entry was last month, it has been almost a month, again.........3 weeks into the holiday, I had my good sleep all nights. 4th of October, I will be back on. Another summer ends......another autumn arrives.......but i do not think i can stay long enough to see the leaves fall. My maternal grandparents are leaving Singapore with me this time, has been some years that they did not managed to return to Suzhou. This time , they have the chance and they will not return to Singapore. That is the end of their life in Singapore, from 1995 to 2008. 2 years into Polytechnic, and I know what is going to happen for the next one and a half years.......more motivation....more inspiration.....more downs but still get to go......will be dead but spirit dont......clutch? I am not a clutch person.....getting the thing right at the right moment is not something that everyone could do...but.....one thing to know......when the clutch time comes.....you know it......just do it.....dont think .That is my philosophy

When i was even younger, i thought we were the same. I thought things that are obviously right should be known, that is really what i was thinking but later i found people are still doing the wrong thing. Later i found that is because of human nature. When i was even younger, i thought we were the same. I thought I am no different with the rest of the children, thats really what i was thinking but later i found that i am so so different, and getting more different now. Later i found that it is call what u are born with and what u decide to do. That is my philosophy

So far, I am still underage. Under 18 i mean. Meaning I have plenty of life to play around. No, not play around, it is always time for battle, time for battle, and more to come. Days have come where more and more decisions are anticipating, of course, for you. The names in the story always change, I know, but the emotions kept the same. When a person see through every moment of his or her life, he or she knows it, everything is just on the filmstrip. A friend of mine feels that he wants to help people, change their lives, make them happy, and somehow he will be able to leave something behind when he has gone transparent. Many did leave something behind, at least some in many different ways, what he is talking about is his deeds. Good deeds of course, as he believe in karma. Karma does exist, just a logical "cause and effect" thing. I told him, as everything is and will be temporary, things never stay there forever, human civilisation will be swept away, in fact at the end, no sign of anything will be left, maybe except some bones for the next species to wonder about, i mean if.......there is, by all means. Still, and soon actually, human discovered the reality and have to go along with the society, yes, tiring and boring as always. They could not do anything, could they? Things are always so.......unstable, just like flickering fire. Hence my answer is to decide and do with the time given to you. Follow your heart, follow the right way. Then people will argue about what right is. I say just keep it simple, you have conscience don't you? Do the best you can. That is my philosophy

Second week ended for second year in Nanyang Polytechnic. More than 7 projects in the first week. Have to hold my ground. Waiting for the "everlasting" victory. Without playing ball for 2 months, my condition is bad, have not recover my best status yet, not even close. Projects of year 2 is great, enough firepower to own me into pieces. Nights are my best friend to stay with. Dawn is my alarm. Day is my trench to hold the bombings. I frowned during the last shower today, i yelled with no voice but breath. I said to the mirror , i want to be strong. I will rule, and i will die or perish one day with no regrets. To have no regret does not have to be the best. Sometimes, understanding or enlightening yourself might be the most important matter in life. After you enlightened yourself, everything will be as clear as water......It worth nothing.......it worth everything. That is my philosophy

Tomorrow, I will fly for Nanjing. My flight will stop at Xiamen before Nanjing. Tonight had a ball game with Sunny and Kurt. Had 2 photos taken with Kurt because he said he is not sure whether he will still be here when I get back in April. Vacation means i can rest. I do not know whether there will be comfort for me in China. Weather is still cold...around -1 in Nanjing still. Hope for comfort.....hope for more rest. Away from illness....especially stomach problem.....itch.....etc. 12th of April. Returning date. Hope it is right. Hua hua has been staying in the hospital for a long time.....it is a month already. More than a week , she has not online. I do not know when or will I be able to go to Beijing to see her. Is Pneumonia the real illness troubling her?.........seems abit serious. Another semester break.....I can still remember clearly my last trip to China....my first polytechnic semester break.......it did not seem that far away.....polytechnic life is fast. I left secondary school for a year already. That is the speed. I have not felt that yet. Kurt has stayed in Singapore for 2 years already and he will be leaving soon this year. First time i saw Felix , he was wearing CJC uniform. Now he is going to finish his NS. Benjamin Toh felt it too. Lightning speed. ..........Isn't it. The number of the year just kept on adding........2008....whats next?....2009?.....Do you think it will be it when you realise again the next time? Time slows down when you stare at nothing. Time quickens when you start doing something.............The ability to effectively remembering things in life gave me alot of materials to reflect. Time to leave, .....to sleep. Time for tomorrow. That is my philosophy

Tonight is Chinese New Year eve. Today , the semester ended actually.....except for a photoshop project left next week. Many things have happened last month. .....Hua hua ......."flower" is my best friend online.......from a forum in china. The crappy stuffs from that forum is quite entertaining. The story between us is quite complicated......but i should say that ....2008.....16 th of january.....23 hours......i replied her thread....and that sparked the whole story. ........She live in Beijing too but unfortunately this vacation i am visiting Nanjing instead. Will be learning drawing and training some basketball there.....Hua hua might be still in hospital now......She is suffering from Pneumonia......she kept coughing .....thats about it. I know she will be disappointed but i think i might have one or two chances to visit Beijing's home with my mom. I will try to meet her.....I am a little drunk tonight but i felt great. Stress-free is the keyword........................I hope she will be back soon......I have not talked to her for some time already. .......Snow in southern china.....hope that it will be better soon.....That is my philosophy

At around 6 pm, dark clouds , wind, lightning and thunder poured around me. I decided to take a nap. This is the best symphony by the thunderstorm since a very long time ago. Lightning's flash and thunder's roar are beautiful if you enjoy them in safety. Thunder's roar went from loud to soft.....so did the lightning....some are extremely long....some are short. It is like a story of something. The life of a living or non-living thing. Ups and downs............Highs....and lows........Even when it reached to the bottom......it might bounce back again and reach its height.......The rain....is like the tempo......or the beat...following through. The dark atmosphere is the stage curtain ........which signalled the begining......and will signal......the end. That is my philosophy

Kurt back today. Played 5 hours of ball game starting from 9 am. Fandi came with his friends. Games was played hard today. Had 1 block on Felix, 1 on Ernest and another block on someone i could not remember. The bald boys are more athletic but not very skilled. Open house was held this week. The job of being a tour guide is quite stupid. I took the afternoon shift and the whole afternoon i had lead 1 student only while others lead 20. Made friend with the student i lead. I had a sleep just now , woke up an hour ago. Tomorrow, i have to do some work for project in the afternoon. Planning to wake up early in the morning tomorrow. Felt a little awkward now....sleeping again? I hope to do some talking before i sleep. Talk....to whom should i ? Myself...Reflect by speaking to myself. That is my philosophy

Today, 2008. I spent the last few hours of 2007 playing basketball with a few friends. School will start tomorrow. A peaceful heart......is needed......to tackle problems....I had great time playing ball games these 2 days....the movies are alright also.......the best ......is the feeling within the greetings across people......for a good year....a great year. I had a plea..sant.....chat...with a friend. That is the first conversation i had in 2008. Long conversation......pleasant?....certainly.....I mean real pleasant. Every conversation is an experience.....The chat just now was another feeling.....which i almost never had. Unfortunately.....i know that.....i would not get the exact feeling again next time. Even if i talk to the same person....the feeling might be similar.....but it will never be the same.......not the same.....like the very first one.....gloomy?......me. I am showing the true me and gloomy is part of it. Know me deep enough....and get to see other parts. That is my philosophy