Since when......I lost my feeling of blogging......, I remember blogging the basketball practice everyday when I just started to play. 2008 might be the year with the least posting since I started blogging.......for 2......3 years. I would not just stop here, there is a long way to go for this blog. Talking about 2008, big year. Simply big, why? just feel it,........big enough?........the year with 911 might be big too but this 2008, there is more things to see. Disasters are running across the globe, more and more warnings on.......our home......is counting down. Other than the disasters......Earthquakes.......snow.......floods.......you name it......there is Olympic games.....summer games in Beijing, China. This time, it looks more like an advertisement to the world.......showing that China can host such events, and also, to tell those who think China is still in its 1950s looks, .......pal.....this is China. While lots of foreigners are impressed, in fact i am not, so is a friend from China. It is just about the numbers in the opening ceremony.......chinese culture........huge numbers of people......great, explosive fireworks......Forget about the Games, my second cousin was a Olympic volunteer at that period of time in Beijing. My trip to Suzhou and Nanjing was alright .......yes.......as always......alright.........autumn is quite......comfortable.......my favourite season indeed. Returnin back to Singapore, not much difference but I am actually on my self. Looks like my grandmother would not make it through the winter........at most 2009.......which many think it is not even possible. The sudden change in her body status lasted for 10 days, thin and weak.......now. 1928 till now, maybe it has been enough already. 10 years of life, after 2 strokes, not mentioning breaking both her legs.....and her arm. In China, Nanjing, seeing my relatives, father. This time a little different. I had more free time by myself.....making decisions. I spent time with my cousins and a friend alone, this and that. Regretted that i did not agree on the taking photos with her thing. The friend wanted to take a kind of picture, those tiny little ones which i forgot the name........ah neoprints........unfortunately, its crowded everywhere, not that crowded at the shop......but i was just impatient to do that......so....i said lets go....sometimes.....things like this left in my mind......somehow.....memories of war will be left in some soldier's mind. I am that kind. I could have had some patient and go for it, she said there isn't any photos of me and her.......well......this chance past.....who knows when is the next. Somethings you just have to do it today, do it now, if you wait for tomorrow or next time, things will change......more than half the chance....you would not have that opportunity anymore. I am suddenly left on my own, mentally first, emotionally.....and physically.......This semester in school, I know i have to change. big change. The bird which never chirp needs to start its great plan. I have to proof myself, i could not just let myself be the average or worse person. Difficult tasks, yes, I will need to put in action. No more running away, no more disorganisation, no more short-cuts. "I gotta strive". That is it. The difference between a person up there and down here is one has a great ambition, the other don't. Looking at those people around me at the food court. Working people, many of them too have the talents and potentials. I too have lots of talents, but i am satisfied easily and i have no ambition. no idea on what i am going to accomplish. I am being passive at an very early age.......negative........I guess i have to save that when i am old enough to die. No way being so at this age, it is old-age in advance. Well, basically I found that the first stage of my philosophy is to understand, the second is to execute it. Do what you already knew. A plan is not even half from succeeding till it is being executed. That is my philosophy