Well.....well....well. This is more than a year ago. I guess I was at a old Commando Barrack. Today i want to talk about something which i do not know whether i had talked before. Alright, the photo already gave you some clue about my topic today, because i felt i would like to make things clear and record my ideas down, i have recorded alot but not this one yet i guess. I was reading the SPI book at the end of my secondary school days......during winter......at the end of 2006 to early 2007. The book inspired me to find out more......in fact, i have been interested in such topics always......since a real kid. So this book is something like a stimulator. I return to Singapore for my Poly studies soon enough and i went for SPI and API tours.......trying to find out and learn more. I came across the group of people such as Weixue, terribly disgusting person , true walking disaster of the planet, but that is not my point today. Today, I will talk on my paranormal philosophy, my idea. After some time wandering about the organisations, seeing API, SPI, Supernatural. It came to a stop where i rest myself for a year. I got to rest before more bad things happen with that numbskull. I was with the API for some short time, the media team led by Hao Song, but well i was fired soon enough as I was absent for 2 or 3 meetings, so.......the reason was lack in commitment. Okay, also here to correct myself of what i thought last time about API affliated with the PSS. Simply weixue the fool created PSS and he thought he affliated with them. PSS was spamed with pornographic advertisements, tons of them at the end after i left the forum and left it to rot. Weixue close it few months ago. Well, those were all 1 year ago. I went to visit and play around on Chinese paranormal forums in china though, and was utterly shocked at first. The paranormal ideas and knowledges are still living in the old dynasties there and I could not help. That problem does not lie in paranormal field only, it is the problem of the society of the nation so I drifted away after some months of observation and "preachings". Well, i am not saying they are totally helpless but again like i said, it is the society, and not everyone is dumb, there are people who still understands but very little. In fact, maybe i was too confident of Singaporeans. Afterall, I noticed the problems does not lie in China only, it is everywhere. Newbies, superstitions and pure stupidity of paranormal industry simply can be found anywhere. Well, I went to talked to US investigators on the net too and learnt some of their ideas and directions they are going. Finally, the SGFX, freakylinks leader found me from a old paranormal blog by weixue. I was recruited like i mentioned few posts away. Well, basically this is what had happened so far. My paranormal idea is based on modern science. Science have to be the base of the paranormal investigations. Religious and modern superstitions can only be auxiliary forces to assist you. Not speaking of those issues people normally bring out.....saying science cannot explain this and that or certain paranormal activities are just imaginations or illness or what. I am here to say that they are neither right. The timeline is still on the move, it is not the end of the world, there is no answers yet. We can keep on finding, discovering, debunking but it is really unneccessary to debate on some matters. In fact most questions in paranormal field cannot be truly answered. Many so called answers are all assumptions of some clues, some research backups or.....maybe no clue at all. I believe the nature. Our mother nature, our mind, our brain, ourselves, our surroundings have too many mysteries, and those can be the contributing factors, the unknown factors that are affecting our paranormal world. Like i said, our mind is very powerful and we humans are too confident in our senses. I know people are impatient, wanting answers right now, but all we can do is wait and see, we cannot give conclusions. Those simple cases can be solved, but some basic questions......we just cannot. Well, I see paranormal as something very important to us. The topic can be a study of everything mankind have so far. It can be a study of combining every knowledge human have so far since the cradle of civilisations. It requires basically few areas, humanities, sciences and some "actions". When you research into paranormal cases, you found yourself wandering into the worlds of history, geography, philosophy, religion, literature, archaeology......u name it. And on the scientific side, you have to enter the halls of mathematics, biology, physics, psychology and again, u name it. Whatever human have now is what is needed in paranormal study. So you see, what is paranormal? Paranormal....is a study of the hidden side of nature. Ah.....and of course ourselves....we are part of nature. I spoke of "actions" previously, that "actions" is the skill during the investigations......well, you might just start to behave like a detective or simply is one. So......you should know it is impossible to know everything in order to be ready for paranormal. Therefore, detectives consult other professionals..... If one day, someone said paranormal means ghost hunting only, playing with some tricks or he or she is a master of the Paranormal. He or she lied. The ghost part i guess i would not need to explain anymore, you should have understood if u accepted the idea stated all along in this post. The master of the Paranormal part...... well....He or she can be a master in one field or knew things in many fields, but he or she would not be a master in this overall structure. There might be some experts who are the closest to a true master compared to the rest but...........still, treat the person who said he or she is a master as a lie, because you would not be able to meet the true one. And that, is an assumption, well u know........because certain possibilities are so low.....they are close to zero. At last.......i would finally say.....go with the nature.......let things flow naturally.......because that is the natural way. That is my philosophy

It is 2:14am now as i type this line, 1 hour and 3 mins to my actual birth time on 23rd, my birth date. What does it mean by being 18. More laws to handcuff you of course. I am sure that i enjoy being 17 instead. I am not a law breaker unless the law is not what it suppose to be. Okay, frankly, being 16 is a what the hell to me already, i did not expect me to be that old yet, now 18? This is crazy , i thought i am 8. If i were 8, then the adults must be really scared. I am refering to my mind. Well, besides talking about being 18, what else can i say now.......wait for the actual time? Well, so far, i believe i am still what i am at 5. The good natured boy of justice is still here, I am the one who has not yet change, most have, or should i say almost all have. Sometimes maybe u would wonder how long is a decade, well, i see thats quite long, but not that long exactly, so i know i am talking rubbish here. I am as well as saying nothing. As i said, time stops when u do nothing, time moves on when u start doing something, well now i add on and say time moves double time when u start doing something with joy, maybe with someone. Because alone in the dark will make time feel like a long long way.....it is like taking forever....although it never lasted that long. It is in the mind.....again i said....it is in the mind......Your mind is powerful, beware. What is the most tragedic thing to be happening? Oh , well, for now i will say, i am 18 by life age, 16 by look, and who knows what age i am in my mind. Well, the maturity might not be 30 or what.....but i am sure i knew somethings my age dont, well, i should not use age to classify people, because i find that some young people too have great mind and knowledge, its about the person him or herself , not the age.......like some guy can be 30 plus but he is not as matured as me, not knowing as much as me, well i would not disclose who that is, just an example. While some men are great people of their time or at least, an acceptable 30 yr old human to this current society. So, i guess i should not use age as the factor in the classification, i should make a standard instead. The amount of things should be shown at certain age. So, again, that is very subjective. But according to confusius, there is a chart.......it is in his book, there are chapters which talk about when are u be able to be living with no doubt.........when are u actually suppose to be supporting yourself. So, there is a classification, by Confusius. Mine might be similar of course. But since it is a different world now, my version would confirm be different from his. Well, most importantly, i am a different person, different as in............u find sheeps on the streets, copies of others, i am just standing by myself........That is my philosophy

Movie picture from "My Boy Jack". First world war scene, a prestigious british doctor sent his son to war, his son volunteered, well u know, he died. He was rejected many times by the navy because of extremely bad myopia. But his father got him into the Army finally, he became a 2nd lieutenant and did well, both the training and the battefield until he is shot down by machine guns. 1 man is left to tell the tale, he was hidding just below Jack, in a trench. Simple, clear cut, actor as u can see, the "harry porter" boy. Dramatic look, orange sky.......dust.....That is what i saw this dawn, today. Unfortunately.......unfortunately i did not carry a camera with me to take the scenery down......all i can describe.....it is ....soft orange....yellow......transparency...overlapping the baby blue sky.....covering the light grey clouds......uniting.......reflecting the colours.....which bonded into one another, giving the obvious yellow but also blue......and the hidden green meaning behind everything. I came back from Ang Mo Kio today, i found the chinese medicine clinic, had acupuncture done on my right wrist and given medicines, just 20 dollars. Unexpectedly cheap to me , maybe it is the first time i seen a chinese physician in Singapore. Had a meal at the hawker centre beside and walked back to Ang Mo Kio MRT station......where i saw the light of the dawn......giving its everlasting impression. I wonder will anyone there find it beautiful......Today, is saturday, and looks like alot....or many....or most......maybe almost everyone has gone out or something....I am staying home of course. I would not play the ball games tomorrow, i guess i would be obedient and rest. Lying there while the needles are on me, is quite of a comfortable experience, the femal doctor is friendly, gave me tips on my skin also.......she recommended Mimosa. The plant which will "closes" itself when touched. Pull it from the soil with its roots on, boil it for 45 minutes and bath the infected parts with it. Sounds cool. I would look forward in finding mimosa plants now. Do not think its that easy. I might just be plucking them from the roadside or buying and growing them maybe........Well, i will go for another meal later at night. I will sleep early today i guess. Looks like i will be away from physical training. And looks like my ligament is very vulnerable. Ah...........my allergic body too......it is a gene defection....Born to be loser. As I said again......nature gave you one part of a perfection, it would not give u the other part. That is my philosophy

This is Rappeport, i think i spelled it correctly. He is acting as Don self in Prison Break season 4. And you know, he is a New York Knicks fan, this is him recently in Madison Square Garden arena. Recently, i have wrist pain, due to dumbbell maybe, and ball sessions. So......it is deteriorating, and i am going to see a chinese doctor tomorrow, maybe in the ang mo kio area. I have to get it done, have to.........Well, another than this issue, i bet nothing more is going wrong actually. This semester is the strangest one, i do not actually feel that i am doing much. Maybe theres more lectures and less of those packaging design or logotypes stuff. I watched documentary from the 1934. Hitler and the german people, rallies, meetings..........great leader.....great passion.....great speech......He is a representative of the artists, for a political leader. Alright....time...for rest.....I should get back to my sleep.........May my blanket capture me as prisoner. I, lay in silence, but loneliness.......is not in my head but i know, i am not spending time wise enough because i felt ..................That is my philosophy

Around 2-3weeks ago, i did this test. As you can see, it was to.....make 2 glasses filled with 10 litres each, i misunderstood the question as needing 2 glasses to have 10 litres in total but actually just 1 step short, so it is completed. In 10 minutes, i never finish such quiz or test before, maybe i have not done any but this time i suddenly amazed myself and thought "hey, i can actually do this kind of thing, this maths, logic kind of quiz", not to show how smart i am, just surprised that i can complete this in 10 minutes. Tomorrow......it's friday.......again.....just like any other week........another friday......another number 5.........another day before the weekends.......another weekly balling session. Not much to talk about........well last week i got to know the basketball term "triple threat" better. TRIPLE THREAT. there isnt another threat, there isnt a bigger threat. That is my advertisement lines for triple threat. Haha, simply in a stance, where you can pass, shoot, or drive. So, it is 3 threats to your defender. For a person who can do all 3 very well, there will be no other threat that can be more threathening than triple threat because you got to guard the player if he passes, or he start driving to the basket, or just shoot over you. The footwork, fundamentals and body language here plays a big role, in fact this is what fundamental basketball is all about if you do not talk about the teamwork, offensive and defensive plays yet. We will continue to work on the "Pick and Roll" and " option" offensive plays. Again, very basic, down to earth and have to do it because again, this is what basketball is about. It is about organising plays to maximise the possibility of open or easy shots, which you can see, you dont really see that in Singapore. Even Slingers are playing the "1 on 1" game, everyone just take turns to 1 on 1, take tough shots, get themselves trapped or double teamed easily because of bad movement, bad strategy and all those basic plays from the US colleges or the NBA, you just would never see them here, mysteriously, i do not know what these coaches are doing. That is why i called Singapore a third world basketball country. Finding people to play basketball is already limited, finding people to have good skills is even more limited and........finding people to play real, true and right basketball, I can tell u, try finding till your next life. Nothing offensive, but this is the truth, because again, Mr Soon tats fah, a design lecturer of my school, said that people always see the 1/3 of the iceberg which is above the water, there is 2/3 below the water which people did not see. Same thing goes here and everywhere else, they see a nice move by some well-known player, they just do it which they had no idea why, or the underlying factors that determined that this move is correctly executed. People just saw the iceberg above the water and copy what is there which is......what people think it is all about. That is why, you can actually get slapped directly, full palm on the face in a basketball game in singapore. Well, not once, but all the time. Stupid executions. Too bad, as I said earlier, in every field, people see 1/3 of the iceberg mostly. I mean things like this alot of times does not need to be a professional to know it. The rules are all wrong, or all kind of funny rules evolved. Well, not going to continue talking about this, I would end here. The final destination might not be an end, the path might just go round and round........yea....round and round. The same thing will happen again tomorrow but I can tell you, that is not deja vu, buddy. That is my philosophy

Around these 2 weeks. I had dreams....and i hardly had any during my non-holiday sleeps well you know I dream every night during holiday. So......what i saw.......monsters.......female monsters......funny crap......and one which is worth to talk about. I picked up a cello and in the dream i somehow wish to carry on the fallen destiny of my father........the cello........what a talent.....what a player......yet......everything goes to waste just because of wrong decisions made. Well other than that. I remember Kurt used to play ball with me on saturday morning for the past 2 years. I have been playing Yahoo Basketball fantasy game on Kurt's league and I just topped it this week and this week, it is between me and kurt....head to head. Another night........another sleep.......another time of music-ing. Music kept me emotionally satisfied. "I'm on the battlefield......i will play this game......no matter what.. Victory or defeat.......is not what i wanna see......What i wanna see.....is the truth in this place.......And this place is in my heart. I want to know myself. Then at least one day i can say that......i understand my world.......the world where i lay in peace. That is my philosophy.

Well.....well.....well.......Looks like we have lost Pram to the "fun ball" concept. Fine, I will have Felix and Sherman to play with then. This coming friday will be at the active court at street 22 again.........SGFX will be hosting something this coming saturday, i guess i have to go, no matter what. The celebration of the birthday of 3-4 people i guess.......including me. Nothing will stand in my way hopefully.........Angela is offline for 2 days, my guess is that she went to some auntie's house or getting her medicine from the capital Amman. Tomorrow will be another project studio for my product.....portable vacuum cleaner.....of Adidas.......Lecturer loved to say things looks obscene to them. I am taking my "calm down" pills everynight......yes....everynight....else...sleeping is a problem.....itch is a problem.......it spoils many things.......can be almost everything.....My wounds this time is concealed within the covered areas.......but pretty bad looking......the wound....the .......pain.....when perspiration comes when i almost got home.......when i shower myself.......i breath hard like a injured lone wolf.
You know what......I found the hidden reason behind the obvious question. Why did i not work hard. Why did i not start working and always slacking, always resting...........but i am still tired. The final answer is fear, it is uncertainty, it is lonliness, I am immune to the loneliness part.....but......i knew it is always there, i am used to it, but..........it is there. "At least i still exist" kind of life is not something new. But i want to thank my current classmates for not ill-treating me. It is a gift already. I got to rest now, there is a day to go tomorrow, also to ask the bloody CPF people about god damn school fees. To be able to foresee or not, it usually ends the same. That is my philosophy

This time, I am recruited by SGFX. I would not say what it stands for unless u ask me. My first exploration will be tomorrow. I was actually on second command for investigation soon after i met up with the "freaks". I did some map research around the area i am going yesterday, and actually found that Singapore is a big garden. I did not think so until now. I thought it is just trees but i think many places are only linked by main roads, not so many ways into or out of certain places, which make it interesting. So, there are actually "cities" in Singapore. So i am getting out of my region. Another thing i would like to say is my new and loving friend Angela. She contacted me from my contacts from some chinese forum. She is from the same city, same birthday, just a year older. Although she is in Jordan now, but i am investing in this "bank". Ben said why not invest in local "banks", well simply i am not welcomed in local "banks". "They don't want my money boy". I know i certainly like her, and yes, alot. The hope to see her is something cannot be forseen. I know this is crazy, this has no logic but, i just want to "lock" her up first, i might have a chance in the future. She is moving back in 2 years time, by then i will be in the army, and she will continue her studies while after my army, my university time comes. We always had great chats online, and also on the phones. I hope this really continues and soon even better things will happen. There is a connection.......though it is thin and very isolated. I will hold on to it, this is my hope, my dream, my goal. My dream was....actually to have a dream.....my goal was to have a true goal. This can be one. This is the one. I am the most rational artist, i know i am doing something irrational but this can be the motor to power myself to work towards something in my life, just like I said.......a person should do whatever possible to fulfill his or her dream until destiny reveals itself. That is my philosophy