Thursday, January 21, 2010

Indeed......I am back to my bed. Sleeping through.......2 weeks, I got 2 weeks left for my final project and I know i am going to get it, nothing but victory. The last thing I wanna do is to leave this school as a total underdog. I am already one, I got nothing to lose. And indeed, again, the days before yesterday was fabulous. It feels brand new.......not like my usual lifestyle. I still remembered my past, my life as real a real underdog, misunderstood, accused, neglected, ostracized.......I have come a long way, true evolution in the making and i am pretty sure that this evolution is going to be even more amazing in the future, instant or distant, it is going to be revolutionary for me. A friend of my mom tell me that it is part of success, the road you take is different because you are going to be what they can never be. Indeed again.......I trusted myself....maybe for one of the few times, i trust myself for my uniqueness and what i am capable of doing including my talent, character or my......luck. Every time i did something, i accomplished something or I failed once again....I will look back....yes i look right back. I always look back, and that is the reason why I never forget. I always remember how things were like, and I never turned into darkness......Because it is what I am. I will die being what is good. And when my kind slowly dies out(maybe i am the only one left for my kind), I don't really care if there is no me in this world.......it is just part of evolution. Strongest survive.....not the good. Especially the weaker ones. It is not a sad story because I always tried to view logically and obey the universe, obey the way of the universal rule. Though i would not truly lie dead but I would not defy much. Maybe it is true that jewel would shine no matter what, It is still too early to say. I am still escaping from certain things somehow.....some feelings....some responsibility that i should take, now or future. I know my problems, i know I have to fix them soon. And I know the next great depression for me would not be too far away, and i just got out from one, i am not afraid to end up in another hole. Life is about walking and waiting, that is what i said once, now i say life is walking out of holes, into other holes, waiting in them and then walking out again. That is my philosophy

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